Dr. Moreno, Chief Researcher for the College of Shit We Already Knew

The Beast talks about sex on MySpace

There’s really not much more I can say about this.  People (including teens) talk about sex everywhere.  In church, on TV, on Twitter, on their pointless blog, wherever.  God, I hate stupid research reports. Maybe she can continue her work in this field and see if teens talk about the same things on, say, Facebook?  You’re welcome, Dr. Moreno–I better get some of the research grant money.

They may instead talk about sex, substance use, or violence because they are contemplating doing those things, or because they want to brag without actually doing what they say, Moreno said.

Seriously?  You mean teens may lie to their peers in order to artificially influence the way they are seen in their social circles?  Honestly, I’m just waiting for the next revolutionary survey to come from this fine researcher.  Can I go ahead and place a bet on a survey that says almost all teenage boys masturbate frequently?  That’d be real groundbreaking research for our tax money to fund.  Luckily, our tax money went to this amazing study instead of funding something potentially useful to society.